Janet Carol Kesler - Columbia, TN Tara Tyler Kibler - Palm Beach Gdns., FL Jeffrey Thomas Kincannon - Wylie, TX Donna Jane King - Searcy, AR Tommy Ray King - Streator, IL Jema Coleen Kingrey - Stafford , KS Lisa Michele Kinningham - Searcy, AR John Anthony Labas - Leetonia, OH Suzette Maria Laroche - Plainfield, IN James Bryan LaRue - Mt. Pleasant, TX V. Timothy Lary - S. Houston , TX Charles E. Lawrenson - Pekin, IN Christopher C. Lawrenson - Searcy, AR Sean A. LeCave - Memphi s, TN Douglas Allan Leckie - Moore, OK Eric Conrad Lee - Louisville, OH Foster Lee - Shreveport, LA Graham D. Leighton - Utica, MI Philip Quintin Lester - Grand Prairie, TX Keri Lynn Lewis - Black Rock, AR Jay Lightfoot - Russelville, AR Chapel checkers share list of top ten excuses I t's 9 a.m. and chapel begins. 2.5 minutes later, the chapel checkers start their daily ritual: marking people absent. Students miss chapel daily; however , some absences are excused and others are mere skips. Possibly, later in the week, students submit excuses for their lack of morning activity. Of those excuses submitted, some make it to the "chapel laugh file." Here are the ten funniest excuses that have actually been submitted. Some of these were excused. Others, well . .. what do you think? 10. " I had to work these days to pay parking tickets. " 9. " I was on my way to chapel when I dropped some things. While picking them up my pants split down the middle seam, I then had to go back home and change." 8. "My wife works and the only time we have together is during the lunch hour and we need this time together to get things done. " 7. "I was homesick, had my bags packed and signed out of school on Thursday - F riday afternoon I received a vision from the Lord and He mstructed me to stay. It's rough being away from home .. . (a true story.) " 6. "I had to study for a Jimmy Allen test." 5. "Sorry, but I graduated and moved away. Didn't .realize that I needed to commute from Los Angeles everyday." 4. "After I got up yesterday morning, I took my morning jog at 6:00 a.m. as usual. After getting ready for chapel early, I ate two bowls of cereal, in which the milk was obviously of a substandard nature. After a few moments , severe stomach cramps began to interfere with my normal morning functions. At this point, I decided something must be done. Suspecting Hydro-tetraethy1-clorinal poisoning, I had my roommate (the most skilled available driver) speed me to the emergency room. I subsequently began to feel better and am now feeling my normal chipper self." 3. "I missed chapel Friday because I was out of town. However, it was for a very special reason. I got ENGAGED Friday!! and we went to Houston to show my folks (I couldn't just call 'em). Therefore, I think it should be excused. P.S. I promise I will never use this reason as an excuse again." 2. "I was taking a shower and getting ready for chapel. What I didn't know was, my roommate had already left and closed the door behind him, locking me out. According to dress code, I couldn't wear my towel to chapel. By the time I found someone to unlock my door, it was too late." 1. "I was putting my contacts on this morning and I put one m my mouth to clean it. I accidentally inhaled, and my contact was swept down into my trachea. I was then forced to GAG myself to recover it. I then proceeded to put it on but still had a horrible time because I had dry heaves - I recovered after about 30 minutes - Sorry I missed chapel!" Next time you have a wild chapel excuse, go ahead and submit your excuse. If nothing else you will make the chapel checkers chuckle. -Sharon Bowles Juniors 249
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