r Shopping around. Looking for that 'just right" umbrella , senior Ted Bose broods over the many styles of umbrellas ava ilable at the loca l bookstore. - photo by ferry Traughber. Model Style. Allison Moses , a junior from Kansas City , seems t o have found th e answer to the umbrella crunch. With the fashion able over th e shou ld er strap feature, one can have ready access to his or her umbr e lla th roughout the day . - photo by ferry Traughber . The Harding umbrella exchange I was a "still-wet-behind-theears" freshman (in a literal sense) as I made my first mad dash from Benson Auditorium and chapel to the "building of refuge" (more commonly known as the Student Center) one suddenly dismal morning. The notorious Arkansas enemy of dry bodies had once again arisen during chapel and was on the warpath, frantically chasing umbrella-less freshmen across Center Street. After finally reaching the building's canopy a sense of conquest rushed over me as I envisioned my plentiful earlysemester checking account and the near proximity of the HUB (Harding University Bookstore) with its vast selection of umbrellas. Entering the bookstore, I realized this feeling of conquest was running high through my class as dozens of freshmen searched for the umbrella department. While perfecting the art of scoping during early orientation, I had learned the exact whereabouts of the department so the crowd posed no real problem to a man of my experience and poise. As I approached the racks of "defenders of dry bodies," I began to survey the vast selection of umbrellas. How would I ever choose just the right one? There were long black ones, short black ones, black ones with square handles, black ones with hooked handles, black ones that opened manually, and black ones with an automatic open button (which have been known to double as deadly missiles). Overwhelmed by the abundance of black I thought, perhaps, a monopoly of some sort or the black market! As I approa~hed the checkout stand the cashier seemed to giggle. She then laughingly mumbled something about being entitled to a free woodburning set with my purchase of the basic black umbrella with all the features. As I left the store she shouted, "Free enterprise - it works. You'll learn! " All went high and dry throughout my morning classes, and I was in a terrific mood as I laid down my books and umbrella on the infamous book shelf before entering Heritage Cafeteria for lunch . After lunch I went to the shelf to pick up my belongings, but the umbrella was missing. I sifted through the surrounding black umbrellas, but mine was nowhere to be found. I marched straight to the bookst~re and made my second umbrella purchase of the day. I now felt doubly frustrated - not only had my umbrella been taken, but the bookstore was out of the automatic opening model. Wal-mart was not in my everyday vocabulary during those first weeks of college so the manual model graced my hands, and my social status took a turn for the worse. I faced the same cashier and she said something about a fast learner. She added that she was confident I would soon survive initiation. Pass I did, but not a minute too soon . Two months, four umbrellas, and twenty dollars later, I began to realize that some umbrellas would sit on the Heritage Cafeteria bookshelf untouched for several days. Right then it hit me. It was one vicious cycle. Seniors graduate, with a black umbrella, and freshmen arrive without a black umbrella - until the firs t visit of the enemy. Then the openexchange, borrow and loan system begins. Although some people eventually went to brightly colored, easily identifiable umbrellas, I think the cycle is quite nice. Most everyone on campus carries a basic black umbrella (so as to elimina te any status quo), and they have the opportunity to switch a t any time . And, better yet, there are even some left over for faculty and visitors. 11tt - Brett Kirkman Harding Umbre lla ExchaY~ge 41
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